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User talk:LeadFaun
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Fallout: Diary of a Dead Man page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Sloshedtrain (talk) 11:16, March 22, 2014 (UTC) Hi, Thanks for reading my story and the rating! I do appreciate it. Itiscoming (talk) 15:20, August 7, 2014 (UTC) Why Your Story was Deleted First off, stop de-railing threads complaining that your story was deleted. That's not how you get stories back. You go through deletion appeal. Next time, instead of going into random threads, maybe you should, I don't know, ask somebody what the procedure is? Maybe look around the site a little. Go to the workshop, get some opinions. You could've asked the person who deleted it. Secondly, just because you've seen worse doesn't mean that your story meets quality standards. That's not how quality works. If you have two plates of poor tasting food, but one of them tastes slightly better it still doesn't taste good. Neither of your stories meet quality standards. Now, I'll help you out and explain to you why your most recent story doesn't meet quality standards. To start with, there's no plot. What is this story about? Nothing connects with anything else. A guy is attacked by monsters. That takes up about a paragraph. It's a thing that happens, but that's not a plot. Where's the story? This is a huge issue. This alone is enough to get your story deleted. And nothing makes sense. Why would they tell the guy to turn back? How do they even do that? The character sees a road block (no description of what it actually is, if it's a construction thing or a bunch of things in the road, so that's a problem) and then notices the road continues behind it. . .well, yeah. When roads are closed they don't just disappear. Why would he keep going? Has this guy never driven before? Road issues aren't always immediately noticeable, especially at night. Are there no other roads he can make a detour on? There's a roadblock, he's getting a mysterious call telling him not to go farther and he still goes forward. This character is an idiot. As a person who has had jobs where I have to make deliveries, I never just plowed through things because I have to make a delivery. This guy has a GPS and a map? A map unfolded on the seat next to him? That he can read at 2:37 AM in the dark? While driving? And can IMMEDIATELY tell the road isn't on the map. . .but it must have been on the GPS? Then, this character is stopped by a bunch of people dressed in black and just gets out of the car. Because that's a good idea. After that he seems to think that him and his pocket knife are going to do anything against three people. None of this makes sense and it destroys your story. Logic errors, characters being stupid, characters acting without proper motivation, it's bad writing. You might argue that I'm being nitpicky or that people wouldn't notice these things, but I noticed them and they all appear in one paragraph. Errors spread out through out a story is one thing. When they're this concentrated, it's a problem. Let's go back to the first paragraph. First off, it reads like a word problem with all the distances and time calculation. It bogs down the story-telling and it doesn't add anything. Just say he's driving seven hours away. You give us so much information about the distance and time, but don't even tell us what he's delivering or why? Is it for a job? You don't tell us, but you bring up this friend and a dead dog that have nothing to do with anything. There is not point to that info, it doesn't add a single thing. There's no description in the story overall. Driving at night can be very creepy, but you don't do anything with it. You don't describe his surroundings at all, you don't try to build an atmosphere. Where is he when he gets attacked? We have no clue. The whole girlfriend thing doesn't work, because she's not a character. She's not integrated into the story at all. Are we supposed to be happy for these two at the end? How do you expect us to feel anything when you haven't done anything to establish either of these people? It feels very contrived. If the monster stuff hadn't gone by so fast, if we had seen more of how his thoughts turn to his girlfriend when he's in danger, it might mean something more. You need to build up characters to make us care about what happens to them. There's no build-up for these characters. We know nothing about them, there's no reason to care about them. Oh, and by the way, there are a lot of grammatical errors. There's punctuation errors, capitalization problems, you don't start a new paragraph every time there's a new speaker. A ton of run-on sentences. Very basic stuff. You said you didn't notice any grammatical errors. I think you need to become more acquainted with mechanics before you make that call. So, to sum up: grammatical errors, no plot or story, unnecessary details, lack of important details, no description, logic holes, weak characters that you ask us to care about. This is all important stuff that you didn't seem to consider as problems. It can be hard to judge your own work and ability, but if you don't entertain the possibility that maybe your story did have problems and was deleted for a reason then you're not going to get better. If you don't believe me, don't want to accept this critique, or if you want another opinion on this, then go to Deletion Appeal or the writer's workshop. Good luck in the future. --ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 16:40, August 9, 2014 (UTC)